We'll be together Again someday
by kate31785
Summary: This is a story I wrote about Harry copeing with loss... I wrote it because I am basically goin through the same ordeal SPOILERS


We'll be together again someday  
  
***A/n my mother recently passed away March 15th after a nine year battle with breast cancer, so I decided to write a ff to help ease the pain. Because I am going through basically what Harry is going through in book 5***  
  
Harry sat up in bed unable to get any sleep as the thought of Sirius's last moments rushed through his head. He could not stop thinking about the future he could have had with Sirius, all the things they had never got to do. He rustled around trying his hardest to fall asleep, but there was no use. He decided to sneak out and go for a walk. He did not care if he got caught out of bed after hours. He just didn't care.  
  
Life had been very unfair to him, he had a feeling like he was being endlessly tormented by the Grim... The Grim... Harry thought trying to hold back a few tears. Thinking of the Grim forced his mind back to Sirius. How Harry wished he could talk to Sirius once more. The broken mirror was no help.  
  
Harry's mind drifted, he thought of Sirius's bark like laugh, every single little thought of Sirius brough pain to Harry's stomache and a Yearning... A yearning to talk to Sirius once more to be with him, where ever he was. But Harry knew that could never be, not in this world at least. Everything seemed so unreal, he kept thinking that if he just popped his head into Grimwauld place through the fire place, using flu powder he would see Sirius once more. And everything would be ok, because Sirius had never died.  
  
Going through Harry's mind was the thought... The notion that Sirius was alright, that he was back at Grimauld place, possibly laughing it up with Remus... Tonks... And the rest of The Order.  
  
At that moment there was no doubt in Harry's mind that Sirius had never fallen. Than came the sudden ping of reality. The ping that would tear a person apart. Sirius WAS gone... Harry knew he would have to continue to remind himself that, no matter how much it hurt, if he was ever going to get over this, he would have to keep telling himself that Sirius was gone and there's nothing anyone can do to change that.  
  
But why not? Why not just pretend he was still alive? Because... Harry thought. Because he's not! And it was his... Harry's fault! Harry pounded his fist in the wall. 'If only I had listend to everyone! If only I had not tried to act the hero for once, Sirius would still be around and I would not be walking around feeling hurt.' Harry currled himself up into a ball on the ground, feeling an enormous weight drop upon his chest.  
  
This isn't fair, this isn't fair! Why Sirius? Why, why, why, why!? Harry felt himself overpowered by greif, like a dementor had started to suck all the life and happiness out of him, leaving him a shell filled with sorrow. Harry just wished he could stop feeling. The pain was just too much to bare, it was strangling him, eating at him. Why me!? Why does everything have to happen to me! Why couldn't it happen to someone else who can handle everything. Or when I'm much older and prepared for everything! Harry's brain was pounding against his skull. His scar ached almost as much as his heart.  
  
Than finally came much warmer thoughts. The memories of which he had of Sirius came pouring into his mind. Harry felt calm he closed his eyes and placed himself in his memory and imagined being there, before his world came crashing down upon him. His memories were the only way he had of being with Sirius. It wasn't much but he knew deep down in his heart that he would be back with Sirius someday, that made everything somewhat better, even having to face Voldemort.  
  
Harry quietly crept back to his dorm where he would try to hold on to the thought of being with Sirius in the end, which would hopefully ease him back to sleep. He knew that these thoughts would all sneek back upon him the next night. But for now he did not care his mind and body needed all the rest it could get, if he was to make it through. 


End file.
